Teachers Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (20

I witnessed a rather sad one.

In my chemistry class sophomore year one of my friends was going through some family issues, and his dad just left for a year or so. The kid was acting up in class and the teacher was like "Do you want me to call your dad?" and he was like "If he picks up tell him to come home soon."

I had a teacher who told a girl that 'just because her best friend wasn't at school that day doesn't mean she has to look sad the whole time'. Girl leaves class crying. We had to tell him that her best friend wasn't at school, because her brother commited suicide.

Edit: the best friend's brother not her own. But she hung out at their house quite often so I imagine she knew him reasonably well

This happened in an upper level French class where you can only speak French. If you speak English, the teacher scolds you in French. My friend walked in a few minutes late for a quiz, and wasn't allowed to take it. My friend looked at the teacher and said (in english) "That's bullshit." The teacher looked back angrily and said (also in english) "What did you just say?" My friend: "En Français Monsieur." He got kicked out of the class.

A kid in my math class would sleep on his desk. One day the teacher called on him to answer a problem on the chalk board. He woke up, solved the problem on the board with zero difficulty, and then just went back to sleep.

The teacher repeated the same thing a few times with similar results, and then just let him sleep the rest of the year.

This really shy kid that doesn't really speak much was getting picked on by this mean girl when the teacher tells her "be nice to him, he might be your boss someday," without missing a beat he replies "no thanks, I don't want to be a pimp when I grow up."

My history teacher would spend half the class making jokes directed at the students. One student in particular always took the jokes on the chin and never really made any comebacks.

Eventually, the teacher called him out and jokingly lectured him about standing up for himself. He ended his rant with "You've gotta be a man. You've gotta be like me."

The student replied with: "Well which one? Do you want me to be a man or do you want me to be like you?"

EDIT: For those wondering, this happened back when I was in high school in the late 80s. It's one of those moments I will never, ever forget. 😀

We had a teacher that would always threaten to phone our home if we were misbehaving. Which she promptly stopped after: Teacher: "What would your mother say if I called home right now?" Student: "She would say hello."

 I had a friend in school who was always pretty dramatic. She actually did have IBS though. So we're in this bitchy teachers class and she keeps asking to use the bathroom, the teacher says no, my friend's like, "I have IBS though!" and the teacher is like "Tell me what those initials mean and I will let you go." So she screams "IT MEANS I HAVE TO SHIT" and takes off out of the room.

In high school one of my teachers was having a disagreement with a student. I can't remember what it was about but finally the teacher ask him if she wanted her to call his mother. The student replies, "do it then. My mama will agree with me too." The teacher then asks him to leave her class. He goes, "you know what I'm gonna call my mom for you." He then whips out his cell phone and calls his mom on speaker. "Hey, ma, this teacher want to talk to you."

We had a substitute who was leafing through the yearbook and got to the senior superlatives.

Our school mascot was the eagles. She started reading some if then aloud and said. "Oh that's nice, Sara most school spirited" a student answered back "Yeah, because she's always spread eagle".

The substitute couldn't keep from laughing, as much as she tried not to.

It was one of his first years teaching, so he was about 22-24 at the time. It was a junior high science class and he told a student to stop messing around and get back to work. The student's response:

"Man, I got bitches older than you."

One of my math classes this want to be Thug snapped back at the teacher I ask my bitches questions I don't answer questions. The teacher responded with how many bitches do you have, How much do they charge, how many hours per night. Dudes just throwing out random numbers and the teacher was breaking it down on the chalkboard. Gets to the end says looks like you're making less than minimum wage, or your bitches are holding out, either way I suggest you pay attention so you don't keep getting underpaid.

Dude never talked back in that class again.

I've taught preschool for years, and one of my favorite "dad" responses to children who are being whiny just to whine is the "Hi, _____. I'm your teacher!" (Eg- "I'm thirsty." "Hi, Thirsty. I'm your teacher!"). Anyway, one day, after a long week, I sat down to lunch with my class (preschool, remember? 4-5 year olds), and say to a child (we'll call him Tommy), "Boy, Tommy. I'm really tired today." Without skipping a beat, he swallows his Mac-n-cheese, looks me right in the eyes and says, "Hi, Really Tired. I'm Tommy." That was the day I knew I had taught him all I could.

Student in my spanish class was sleeping, like always. Teacher finally got tired of it and tried to embarrass him by waking him up and yell at him in spanish. The student responded with, "I'm back here minding my own business, not causing any sort of distractions at all, and you decide to stop everyone's learning by trying to make me look stupid. We all know I have no idea what you're saying, so please stop disrupting the class and let me go back to not bothering anyone." She never said another word to him.

Our teacher was teaching us about the States of Matter, solid liquid and gas.

He was talking about how a solid you can break into littler pieces, but how you can't do the same to liquids or gases! So I blurt out "But you can break wind."

I still talk to that teacher and he says that was the best part of his teaching career. This was in 6th grade.

A kid left a bag of flaming hot cheetos under his desk in my 1st period class. I sarcastically announced 2 my 2nd period class that "if you leave any food in my class I am going to eat it!!" Holding up the bag of cheetos. One kids responds..."well...someone should've left your fatass a salad"

My math teacher said: "If you don't understand, ask me. There are no stupid questions."

Where a guy in my class quickly responded: "Is that so? Do you cut your toe nails with a chainsaw?"

One of my classes is fun in that we give each other hard times, but all in good fun and accomplish a lot. A girl starts giggling uncontrollably for no reason, and she's a bit of an airhead so I asked her if she saw something shiny and if that entertained her.

Another boy jumps in and says "Yeah Mister, your head"

I'm going bald. I wanted to pretend to be mad but it was just too damn funny

In a high school physics class, we were learning about friction and what varies how strong it is. So, the teacher asks:

"So as an engineer, what would be some of the hard parts of designing, say, racing tires?"

Some kid in the back says,

"Getting out of bed in the morning"

EDIT: Thanks for the gold! Its...erm... reassuring to know that the plight of the engineer isn't unique.

Our football coach taught economics at our second-rate high school in south texas. When the material was too boring for him he would often do some kind of trivial pursuit flash cards. One time he pulled a card from the deck that asked: "what city has 0% population growth"... The smart-ass in the class quickly raised his hand and other students were baffled as usual so he called on the smart-ass. With a quick reply the smart ass said: "the vatican of course .. because little boys can't get pregnant"

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Written by Samantha Clarkson


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